Trying to muster up the courage to share something from your past is, in my opinion, one of the hardest things in the world to do. That’s one reason I have so much respect and admiration for those that can do it. Especially the ones who have been through even more than I have.
In my own situation, I often wonder, “Why give place to the devil? Why bring up the accomplishments HE has had in my life?” which often stops me cold in my tracks.
I am a firm believer in moving on. Further away from what I’ve been through, further away from the tears, the lonely nights, the suicidal thoughts, the need for anything to take me away at no concern whatsoever for the end result. I don’t want to go back there. I just don’t.
I have recently been praying and I wonder sometimes if the small things that seem to be confirmation are actually, really confirmation or not. Which prompts more prayer and so the circle continues.
Well, it’s been two years coming. It was the reason I started this blog, in a way. I just never realized that the further away from the past I got, the less I even wanted to think about it, let alone go back and relive it and stir it all up again. Aren’t the sleepless night enough? The nightmares? The regret?